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Cautionary tale relating to a sleazy so-and-so and the subsequent reaction of ‘Trust and Safety’


#1

Okay so just feel the need to relay me experience involving an unfortunate experience involving a sleazy individual and the apparent lack of support I received after it.

A fellow was booked in for one night at my place 2 weeks ago. He was here for a sports event and he seemed nice enough. His check in came and passed without incident.

At 9:30am the next morning he came back to the house completely drunk (he told me he was) and proceeded to make unwanted advances toward me, ( asking me where I am from, telling me I am good looking, invading my personal space, forcing me to back away into the bathroom and lock the door. Then he shouts “ I’ll just be upstairs if you want to come up!”).

Shortly after this I receive a message from him telling me how sorry he is and what an idiot he feels. I reply saying, “ it’s okay, let me know if you would like me to call you a taxi “ (his reservation ends in less than 2 hours).

Then he comes downstairs, opens my bedroom door, and tried to speak to me again. I say it’s okay, and close the door, locking it. At this point I begin to worry he isn’t leaving any time soon. I call Airbnb and explain the situation but go about with my chores, on the hope he will leave at the 11 check out.

At 12 midday I realise he has gone back to bed and have to shout through the door reminding him to leave. He says okay, but no movement. This happens 2 more times at this point I am very distressed and intimidated. At last he leaves at 12:45. On departure he invaded my personal space again, attempting to engage me in further dialogue - talking about how he is trying to give up drinking and this is the reason why - as he cannot control himself.

I again contact air - expressing my concern about this and that the only way to resolve this is to remove this individual from the platform - preventing putting other members of the community at risk.

It then takes over 1 week for the ‘trust and safety’ rep to follow up. She assures me it’s being ‘dealt with’ but the guys account remains active.

It is now at the point were I am on the last day were it’s possible to leave a review.

If this guy is going to remain a member then I certainly feel it’s necessary to warn others.

I again try to speak to air about this who seem to offer little support, sadly :(.

Here is the review I am thinking of posting :

“XX stayed at my place 1 night. Although he was pleasant at check-in, he came home quite drunk at 9am the next morning and exhibited sleazy behaviour toward me. He then went on to check-out almost 2 hours late. Needless to say, this all left me feeling very uncomfortable (especially since we were the only ones home at the time). In my many years of hosting thousands of guests from hundreds of countries, this is the first time I have felt intimidated in my own house. Leaving a review like this is not a decision I take lightly but after this experience I can only conclude that XX is really not suited to the home-share community.”


#2

Wait, wait - you’re leaving out some detail here:

What did they say at this juncture? And did you make the situation clear?


#3

Kitty, so sorry. This is dreadful. Please do leave this review. He’s a drunk and not owning his behavior yet. Apologies mean nothing. He needs to get into treatment or AA.

Your reviews sounds perfect.


#4

Yes, I explained to them my concerns while he went back upstairs in what I hoped was gathering his belongings to leave. I asked air not to contact him just yet as I didn’t want it to escalate. Should have also mentioned that I asked a male friend to come over so I didnt have to worry in case it did escalate (he didn’t arrive until just after the guest left).


#5

Thanks Kona, the most important thing I feel is to not let someone else be put at risk.


#6

Your review is good. But I have to say, from what you are describing there would have been no second chance after the 9:30 encounter or “going about my chores.” His reservation would end there. My call to Air would have been that he needs to leave now.


#7

I agree entirely, but as a single woman hosting alone I was quite keen to not give this drunk stranger in my home any reason to turn on me. Therefore, I opted to err on caution and see how it played out with a series of careful prompts. It worked … albiet not as soon as I’d have liked.


#8

Definitely. It’s easy in hindsight to say I would have booted them right out… but not if you are a woman living alone. I had this same feeling once, although it was with a party group who had taken over my rental and I felt trapped and like a prisoner in my home. My requests to them to please behave were scoffed at. You have to tread quietly. I was not in the position to make demands. I had to tiptoe around. I didn’t want them trashing my place (even worse than they did.) horrible horrible horrible guests.


#9

Oh no that sounds awful Kona :sob:! I’m so glad I don’t rent to groups anymore.

Interesting footnote : the fella in question has been a member since 2016 and has only one other review from an American lady, describing him as ‘interesting’ and ‘good fun’. Makes me wonder if his tactics may have been successful else-where :face_vomiting:


#10

Well I don’t either! I rent to one or two only. They met a guy at a bar or the beach and brought him back. And it turned into a party from there. :tired_face:


#11

Thanks for the reassurance, Cat and Kona. I’m going to post the review now. Am a bit worried this loon is going to retaliate somehow but I can’t let him get away with it…


#12

Kitty, wait… is it the last minute though? Try to wait almost to the last second before posting. Any sooner and he might retaliate.


#13

Good point. I’ll post it at 11:30 tonight :wink:


#14

I have a few thoughts about this review. First, there are some grammatical errors, but those are easy to fix. More important, I am just not sure that “sleazy behavior” will translate into other languages. My problem is I can’t come up with an alternative that could not be challenged by him as a “misunderstanding.” As I clean during today’s turnover, I will ponder the language that would encapsulate his sexually charged and inappropriate behavior in a way that won’t give AirBNB an excuse to pull the review.

And hit that report button once the review goes live.


#15

Actually you may be right. Why not replace that word with forward, aggressive sexual behavior, or something of that nature. Of course he is sleazy, but that’s more of an opinion than a definition.


#16

Coincidentally, I was just reading this article… and recognized myself as a young 20 something professional…


#17

Smtucker, thanks for your input. I always thought I was hot on the grammar but perhaps I’m deluded - maybe you could point out my mistakes :nerd_face:?


#18

Unfortunatly, this feels very poignant :confused:


#19

That woman was probably one of those hosts who will never say anything negative about a guest, because they’re afraid it will reflect on them. “Interesting” sounds like code for he’s a little crazy and “good fun” sounds like code for maybe a little too much fun - so be careful everybody.

Anyway, Kittyp - I hope you will leave your review as you presented it here. It’s very good and the community must be warned of this dangerous person.


#20

@Kittyp, sorry this happened to you. Agree with everything people have already said. Instead of ‘sleazy’, maybe use ‘inappropriate’? It WAS inappropriate and he knew it. So no misunderstanding there.
I would lose the ‘Needless to say’. Otherwise personally I think the review is good.
Disgusted that Air did not take this more seriously.


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