I can imagine. They probably just told you to remind her I’m guessing.
Keep reading this forum and you get lots of guidance, it can take a while, you can be a great host but firm at the same time. I was a push over when i started hosting, its character building.
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Damn right. If there were a burglary not only would you have shitloads of hassle, you would also never feel as secure in your home again. I hope something happens to these guests to give them a wake-up call.
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It really is. We had a couple groups at the beginning who were pretty rude who I wish I could go back to and tell them off or kick them out. But we’re getting better and I’m getting better every time at confronting people.
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I have become much more assertive. I have clear boundaries and try my best to relay them in a way that isn’t off-putting but still getting my point across. Yesterday, I had a guest take out my boning knife I use for butchering (yes, I butcher pig, rabbit, and lamb regularly) and attempted to slice a mango with it…whilst holding the mango in his hand. All I could see was the potential for disaster. I quickly took the knife out of his hand before he could make his first cut. “You are going to hurt yourself, this is much more knife than you safely need for that mango…and here is a cutting board” I swooped in and switched out the knife. Apparently, he really wants to experience medical care in rural Hawaii. Sometimes I have a hard time, especially when the guests are older than me because I don’t want to come off as being disrespectful to elders.
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I think I’m becoming more laissez-faire. My last guests texted 3 changes to their arrival time and finally showed up around 9pm (check-in was 1-3p). I was ticked but dealt with it then went onto my listing and changed the check-in time to 4p-8p to make it more user friendly for guests and so I wouldn’t get grumpy when people are excessively late.
Now with the last minute emotional support dog thing I’ll just deal with what happens rather than think about what might and be bitchy. Much nicer to be magnanimous than mean-spirited. Who knows, maybe it will be reciprocated.
That said… locking the doors is a whole different issue depending on your location. Here in the country not so much but city, yes. Stick to your guns! LOL!
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It is easier to be magnanimous when they don’t cramp your style. A lot of it is negotiable.
King Carnivore wants steak, and a lot of it. my BBQ did not meet his gourmet standards. so he ripped it apart, fixed it, and I paid for new parts. Cost me $120cad but it was a lot cheaper than a new one. I mean, what the heck do I know about bbq’s? So God bless him.
Those steaks are a kg each!
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I had a couple here from upstate NY who wanted a “Texas steakhouse.” So I sent them to the most iconic one in the county, the one with the reputation and the national press. He’s a professional chef and was unimpressed. So I told him if they stayed with me coming back through after their vacay in SE Asia that we could cook out and he could show me how it’s done. So two months later they came back. They bought the steaks I supplied the rest. I only have a propane grill not a charcoal one but he didn’t offer to buy me a charcoal grill. LOL. Truth be told, his steak wasn’t anything special. I guess I’ll have to go stay with them in NY to get the real deal.
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It’s nice when guests do stuff like that for you though. 
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Yes, it is. Especially when they stand by you when your partner has lung cancer. I S**t you not. Still trying to get these people nominated as super guests.
Magnanimousness goes both ways. I have lent my car out during emergencies. Nobody ever goes hungry.
Not everyone gets it, but it’s a blast when they do.
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Oh, if only … but, nope, just checked … still a doormat!
But to be fair, very few of our guests have done anything that really bothers us - doors unlocked aren’t a problem as we rarely lock ours. We’ve got a wide check-in time and as most of our guests arrive by air it’s not usually their fault if they’re late.
@justMandi is there actually a Superguest nomination thing? I’d love to nominate our Dutch guests who came here for the sun and endured the wettest June week on record on the Costa del Sol. Not a hint of a moan from them and they presented me at the end with a list of Best things to do in Malaga when it Rains, which is now part of my House Manual!
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Hi there Malagachica,
This was discussed at the Feb 22 meeting. It doesn’t seem to have gotten off the ground.
Apologies in advance; a bit of the old nit picky trainer coming out.
Being assertive is different from being confrontational. Assertiveness avoids some horrid confrontations and the emotions that can arise during one.
An example; I had a rubbish, entitled brother and sister stay last year for two days whilst the brother did a channel swim. On their first night, after we’d been out for a couple of hours, I found him in our sitting room with a young lady who wasn’t his sister. I managed the situation assertively; “Please take your visitor into the guest dining room and she needs to leave in ten minutes as she is not staying and it’s 12.30 am.” No confrontation. I don’t know what version of events he relayed to his sister but she appeared for breakfast and began shouting at me aggressively, for being hostile towards her brother, including saying that she does confrontation really well. It was hilarious! I replied that I would remind her that she is a guest in my home, her behaviour was unwelcome and inappropriate, and left the room. She apologised when I returned. Assertive, no confrontation.
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Wow, you handled this situation really well! This sort of rude behaviour by guest is something that can bother me the most. I can somehow tolerate ordinary stupidity or carelessness, but when someone is blatantly and consciously breaking my rules, and then proceeds to deny it and behaving crappy about it, that really pushes my buttons. Only recently I had two cases of guests bringing late unannounced visitors and behaving rudely about it, and although I think I handled it really well, staying calm but firm, it emotionally drained me. I wish I could learn how not to be so affected by such situations.
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Stand up for yourself and having no problem in telling a guest is good for both. Many times guests don’t realise that they are doing something wrong. You can say MOST times people don’t want to be bas and dothings to upset their host.
I stayed in one Airbnb in Milan and host put signs like yours everywhere in the house. Over every light and every door and window. It was so much easier to be good in her house with these little reminders.
Just wanted to add that either put notes everywhere with reminders or just leave guests all be with not pointing g out to them like " you left light in a bathroom", or you left dirty cup in a sink especially if they are staying few days. People forget , don’t pay attention, naturally not aware and just a bit off.
Unless it’s big issues like safety or terrible messiness or breaking of your major rule or doing senseless acts like washing one pair of underwear every day .We hosts do as many mistakes as guests do .
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I try not to harp on people for little things like leaving lights on. I just turn them off usually unless they’re leaving every light in the house on. The door being locked is just more serious since it’s a security issue but I just kept telling them politely but firmly to lock it and they finally did.
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