As a host how should you deal with guests and potential guests making you feel uncomfortable or unsafe?

Honestly? I think it’s pretty insulting to men to automatically assume that they are all potential rapists. But I understand that many single women feel safer hosting only other women. That is allowed under Airbnb’s T&Cs. I believe in full gender equality so I think single male hosts should be permitted to only host other men too. There are predatory females out there too, y’know.

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:confused: :confused: :confused:

No one should ever automatically assume another individual is anything. And profiling is definitely problematic. But when one considers that 70+% of all crimes are committed by men, that 80+% of violent crimes are committed by men and that 98% of sexual assaults are committed by men. Studies show men admitting they’ve committed rape at a rate of 8-10%. I could go on with sexual assault statistics but it’s quite astonishing. Yes, men are sexually assaulted too, mostly by men. (US statistics)

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Yes… but you have to factor in to these stats the massive under-reporting by men of abuse and assault at the hands of female partners. It’s a significant problem and sadly ignored too often. Some stats show that 40% of domestic violence is perpetrated by women. And then there’s the evidence that assault on women is far more likely to come from men they know than from strangers.

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I’m confused as to why you’re confused! Maybe I should have said ‘I understand why they believe they are safer but I don’t necessarily think they actually are’. Or maybe we should start a debate on the hegemony of feminism… that should be a barrel of laughs!!

That’s the typical “cry” from a guy who is called out on his abuse. "You are abusing me…blah blah blah blah…wah wah wah…

I will always assume that all men are rapists. I come from a family of child molesters and you better believe I will profile any and every male.

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I too have experience of (male) domestic abuse and violence as a child and young adult (I don’t like the term ‘molestation’ as it seems to diminish the act. It’s violence and abuse of the worst kind). But I disagree vehemently with your conclusion that therefore ALL men are rapists and any man who dares to say his partner is abusive is automatically deemed to be covering up. It is so aggressive and unhelpful and the primary reason that male victims are afraid to speak out. You really think that women can’t be abusers too? Please.

I never said I think ALL men are rapists, but I will go on assuming they all are until proven otherwise.

I really don’t care about the minority who are abused by the woman. I can only fight one battle at a time Mag. And my battle would be to protect any child or woman from a molester…period.

I’m not going to pretend to be “equal opportunity.” - I’m not politically correct.

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@Robert_Dudley:

Color me dense but I don’t get it. (It doesn’t help that I am one drink under and tackling a ton of posts to read.) So was this gal’s initial inquiry for a year in advance?..and because her initial inquiry only had to do about your cancellation policy, it caused you to flat-out decline her without explanation?..and did she come back and ask you those additional questions only to get your reasons for cancelling her?

How do you handle follow-up inquiries such as hers?

(Also, why are her avatars different…first the Trump one and then the one showing columns or some such?)

I am sooo not following.

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Oh geez…and I thought my eyesight was stellar. There’s no damn cat…

oh, hang on…I see something black (in my alcoholic haze).

To be clear, I don’t discriminate or profile, I have instant book. But I don’t blame anyone who doesn’t want to the be the victim of a crime, any crime. I favor gender equality as well and am doing my part. But we are far from being there, especially in the realm of criminal behavior. If you only host women you are improving your odds, that’s all.

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I don’t see prejudice and profiling (again they are one and the same). I have no problem with people judging others due to their actual behavior. The problem comes when people guess at what others behavior might be like based on unrelated qualities such as ethnicity, religion, gender, etc. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt in taking it at face value that you said you wonder what I think.

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Well you did say exactly that, actually. It’s a regressive stance, in my opinion, and does nothing to further the cause for true gender equality.

I don’t agree, Women are just as likely to be problematic guests. I’m tired of the women-are-eternal-victims narrative. Really tired of it.

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Don’t put words in my mouth Magwitch. I already clarified for you above. I said I would “assume” until proven otherwise. Of course I do not “think” every male is a rapist.

But you go on fighting your equal opportunity fight…

At least Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey are fighting the real fight regarding male abuse. Tyler Perry has been an outspoken male and I can bet he never would say “just give every stranger an equal opportunity.”

I really don’t care what you think.

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@Magwitch
I guess we’re not talking about the same topic. I was talking about crime data in the US as it relates to gender. If you can find where I said anything of women as victims, per se, please repost it. I’m intending to focus on men as perpetrators. Men who only host women would also be improving their odds. But a man that said “women guests only” would probably not get many bookings.

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I was confused because in one topic you call it prehistoric behavior and you point out that we are not apes anymore and that we should evolve, and in this topic all of a sudden you understand. :confused:

I firmly stand by my ground that “some prejudice” and profiling is a human thing, that we got from evolution. So one shouldn’t say: ":innocent: I’m totally without prejudice and I never do any profiling.:innocent:"
No one in this world is totally without prejudice and 99,99% of us do some sort of profiling once in a while. Even for you there must be places / neighborhoods in the world where for your personal safety you wouldn’t come. Does this mean that all people in those places are bad or will hurt you? NO! But you will still decide not to enter there.

Of course, all this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try and fight our prejudices or that we should be careful with profiling. We should always try to minimize unjust consequences for other people.

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I “called”:slight_smile: you in here because I wanted to know your opinion about female hosts only willing to host other females.
By your definition, as stated above, this is declining people based on gender, not taking into account their actual behavior. So I wanted to know how firmly you would speak up against this.

And prejudice and profiling are really not the same thing. Again prejudice is based on nothing. Correct profiling is based on statistical facts and probabilism.
Of course, this does not mean that good people can’t suffer the consequences of profiling. It’s not an exact science. And of course any collateral damage should be avoided.

There are many African Americans who would be horrified at your views on profiling.

As I stated previously, most crimes are committed by people who know one another, not by strangers. Also, it would make more sense for men to only host women as although men indisputably commit much more violent crime than women; men are more likely to be the victims. However, you are not the only person on this board who feels they have the right to profile others but would be offended if they were excluded because of profiling.

What aspects of my views on profiling would horrify African Americans?
Have most of them told you this in person or are you prejudiced?

Have you ever anticipated any needs of your guests? I suppose you have. This might have involved prejudice and profiling.

You without a doubt accept rude bargain hunters. Or don’t you because they will make horrible guests. => Prejudice.

You’re even prejudiced about me :laughing:.

AGAIN: We are on instant book. We don’t profile people.