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Airbnb Guests Never Cease to Amaze

I rated a guest really low on stars for Commuication because, frankly, he was a complete tool. But in my write up I accented the positive (and there were positives, he was really clean and quite) with a couple of carefully worded comments only Airbnb hosts would pick up on. The guy wrote an all five star review.

Never a dull moment

Oh come on, don’t be so cryptic! Share the review! :grinning:

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I know what the term means but I don’t know what it means, if you know what I mean.
The complaint seems to be related to the personality of the guest. They don’t communicate or aren’t friendly, or what. Maybe the guest is hard of hearing or has a speech impediment or a language processing disorder that makes “communication” tiresome.

Why are you surprised he gave a five star review?

@Geddy3 and @KKC:

He was just the oddest guy and he had plenty of complaints during his stay, but he gave us all five stars and wrote (cut and paste):

“well been traveling costa rica and central america 25 years, generally at decent accommodations, has been 3 or 4 that where of great value, jaco, manuel antonio and here”

His “do you have recommendations for this host?” field read:

“read more Shakespeare.”

Quite the chuckle, had we! :smiley:

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This is what you need!
Brush up your Shakespeare!

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Let us sit upon the ground and tell sad stories of the death of hosts. Make dust our paper and with rainy eyes write sorrow on the bosom of the earth.


This must be a reference to something. Do tell.

That’s pretty funny. I’ve got a feeling I’ve heard it before. The tune sounds familiar.

Though as dating advice goes, it’s extremely inaccurate. I’ve never met a woman who gave a toss about poetry. But maybe I was looking in the wrong places. And maybe it was different on Porter’s time. Actually, it used to be a cultural trope in the West not that long ago. Authors as different as Jane Austen and Wodehouse give lip service to the notion. So maybe it was a thing, once upon a time.

@Geddy3 - I think I’ve almost hit my max of replies today so I’m using what may be my last one to tell you that you are flippin’ hilarious! :smiley:

Haven’t got a clue - I think he was just trying to be funny. He was… funny peculiar and funny ha-ha

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I have the complete Shakespeare library in the living room of my three-room AirBNB suite. No one has touched them yet!

Damn uncultured Airbnb guests. A plague on their houses!


Strangely, “The Secrets of Mathematics” a book to entice children into thinking math is fascinating has been taken off the shelf THREE times.

Lies My Teacher Told Me.


Clean and quiet sounds good to me -

When I was single, I usually ran far away if the fellow shared a poem or recited verse!

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Clean and quite…what? (Or, perhaps he meant ‘quiet’.)

When I was in middle school, I had a crush on the handsome ‘new kid’ in my class.

One day, he came and sat down across from me in the cafeteria, pulled out a folded paper and proceeded to read a poem he wrote about me…all romantic stuff. My friends were within listening distance.

I was beyond mortified and never liked him after that.


I was out and about today and came home at 3.00pm after the school run. My guest meets me in the hall to tell he could not use the computer, and needs access to one. He brings me to the guest sitting room and I thought I would see a laptop, but he was pointing to our TV, Then he says, how to I switch on your computer. I could hear my children snigger in the kitchen. The remote control and lack of keyboard, meant nothing, I wonder how long he was trying to switch it on, poor man.

This is the guy in town to invest a half million? And he has no computer? Ugh.

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