Guest having loud sex in the bathroom - update: now threatening to sue

I agree @jaquo . This is what I have done myself too until today. And that message was indeed nasty…I was pretty upset. Here is an update:

UPDATE:
I just spoke with her. She apologized. She said it was not a random guy, but it was in fact her online guy - let’s call him “John”. She said John left, he will not be coming back and that she herself will be leaving tomorrow.
And she was like “Oh I don’t even remember…was I half naked…?..I am sorry… I did not mean to disrespect your or your husband etc etc”
I told her where I was coming from with my “no visitors” rule and the need for us to know who is staying at our home for safety of all. I also apologized for the nasty-ness of my message. I did reiterate that although I don’t care what happens in the bedroom, there is an implied sex ban on the bathroom. At which point she tried to say that they did not really have sex just “made out”, I stopped her: “You don’t need to tell me details or explain”. I also told her that I do understand that she is new to Airbnb and that she may not be familiar with etiquette of sharing a home, but I did not really mean this. You don’t need a degree in etiquette to know what is appropriate. Bathroom sex is still a no-no under shared home/bath situation IMHO.
So the bottom line is that she will be staying until tomorrow - by herself ( hopefully ).
Side note: I honestly don’t believe that the guy was John. I believe it was a random guy. I don’t even believe John exists. Why would he leave and not come back then? After months of online talking and a hot morning bathroom session, he just left ? I don’t buy it.
So there folks, finally the end seems near…:grin:

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It seems that you handled it perfectly :slight_smile:

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Good for you. The face to face conversations are tough but sometimes have to happen.

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Fully clothed all the time? Not for me. I’ll wear my pajamas at night and in the morning.

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You can be fully clothed in pajamas just like clothes. Are you saying your pajamas only half cover your body like a towel that is too small to cover your body size and you walk around like that in front of your guests?

No, but fully clothed to me sounds like all underclothes and what I’d wear out on the street.

Thanks for clarifying Liz. Because I think I saw your beautiful listing a long time ago and having sit down breakfast with your guests. And I just didn’t imagine you with things I wear to bed that don’t fit me anymore! - lol. But I am single and no one looking at what I am wearing :smile:

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I typically wear less to bed than I come down in to make breakfast. :slight_smile:

And thanks for the compliment on my listing!

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I would book if I am in that area of MN!

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Bahhhhahahahhhhhhhhha.
Comment of the day !!!

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::joy:

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This is one of my favorite pajama tops… :rofl::rofl:

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I dont think you are overreacting. Guests just cant bring total strangers into your house, this is insane. Of course she picked up a dude in the bar. And to have loud sex in someones house is so bad. I dont care if they caught up in the moment and did not control themselves. Then they should not be doing it in your house, and go to hotel. or rent separate space. I think its very direspectful to a host to act like this and make your host listen to your sex noises.

We had guests having sex in our house too and we heard them. At first it was funny and we giiggled. But then it started to get on our nerves. I dont want to feel uncomfortable in my house, and i dont want to listen to other people sex sounds. And they should understand it and act like sensible adults and make their choices based on their activities at night.

Your guest wanted to hook up, thats fine, but then she did not want to pay for a more appropriate accomodation. It all comes to money that she did not want to spend.

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Well said, and I could not agree more!!!

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Well said indeed. @Yana is a no-nonsense bad-ass host ( I have read many of her posts ). Thanks for weighing in.

The guest left this morning. I am relieved. :slight_smile:

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I haven’t yet read all the replies but this is my opinion.

Sex is a perfectly natural thing and you should expect that couples may choose to have sex while staying with you.

HOWEVER…
It is also a very PRIVATE thing unless you are running a brothel or swinging club or similar, which clearly you are not. People should be respectful enough to make sure they don’t subject any of the rest of the household to hearing it. Or hearing any loud noise at that time of the morning to be honest.

You did the correct thing asking them to leave!

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I’d agree with this but I also wouldn’t expect my host to be up at 5am therefore hearing my nookie. Clearly the guest has gone out and hadn’t yet been to sleep and the host had been to bed and woken for their early morning routine and… the rest is history. But had it been me (who sleeps until 7ish) I wouldn’t have heard a peep. I do think the guest probably thought they had more privacy at that time than they actually did.

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I am sure they did, but its not an excuse. First of you just dont bring your hook up into your hosts house, its so wrong anyway you look at it. And honestly i would skip the love making session and control my urges as a responsible and considerate adult if i saw the setup of the house is the way that i would be heard.

I had one couple staying and doing it all night with us being just across the hallway. Ironically they did not wake us up but a a girl in downstairs room. She was a flight attendant and had a flight in a morning and because of these 2 rabbits she had no rest and wanted to cancel her flight. SHe sent me a message in a morning, that 'because of a headboard", she did not sleep all night. First i could not understand what headboard, but then she told me the headboard of their bed was banging at the wall all night long from their activity.
When i texted the guest, he told me they were very quiet. I said: so… you did not hear the sound of a headboard banging against the wall???

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As already stated I am in no way convinced this was a hookup - I personally still believe it’s the guy the guest had already warned the host about. For me it makes no sense to talk effusively about a guy you’re going to be meeting for the first time (and who is the reason for your trip) and then supposedly go out and pull a random. I’m all for a bit of cynicism but internet love does not mean you’re promiscuous.

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Zandra, i could not care less about promisciuty. I never judged anyone in that department:):slight_smile: But its about compromising host’s safety.
For me after my 2+ years of hosting lots of things that made no sense before still dont make sense to me but i learned to accept that this is life and people do all kind of crazy unexplainable things… but just dont do it in my house.

I know what you mean thoug: if it was a guy who initially was supposed to come, the the host should not be surprised they were doing it as there was a big chance of them doing it anyway.