Guest felt uncomfortable and wants a refund

I think that a reasonable amount of time is different if self check in instructions are provided. If I were a guest and nobody answered after a minute or two, I would believe that I was saving the host hassle in letting myself in. I believe that if you only want certain guests to use your self check in option, you should only give those guests the instructions.

The far bigger issue is your husband asking them, “Whoa, what’s going on here.” because of their genders and apparent ages.

5 Likes

That’s a good question and I don’t think there is one answer. I suppose it will vary with the person and what they have gone through in their travels to get there.

I notice that it does not say “do not go in” but it says “We will come out to show you into your apartment.”

This is just one of those learning experiences we all have.

5 Likes

He never said that out loud, but that’s what he told me his thoughts were and it was probably clear from his actions. We have kids in that age range and he’s a teacher, so his natural instinct was to make sure it was all on the up and up.

What do you consider to be, “On the up and up.”?

But they’re not his kids. They’d made a legitimate booking.

Perhaps @Ellen implied that “Whoa, what’s going on here” was implicit too?

And even if they were the original poster’s kids; if they’re over 18 years old they have the right to make their own decisions.

1 Like

Right I should be specific. I meant - that they should all be of the age of majority.

Actually, AirBNB only requires that the person booking is over 18 years old.

3 Likes

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe AirBnB doesn’t require disclosing the identities of all guests. And I guess the OP didn’t ask for the names either.

@konacoconutz Do you always ask full names of all guests? We ask the first names, but that’s only to give our guests a personalized welcome.

True, I only have the full name of the guest who booked and not their companion usually. Just the first name.

1 Like

I’m on the guest’s side here. They booked and paid for a place to stay, not for for someone to start quizzing them about their gender. Sheesh. Are women only allowed to have female friends?? This is beyond ridiculous and must be a source of enormous sighs and eye-rolling in Airbnb. No wonder it’s so hard to contact Airbnb with a REAL problem when lines are blocked with this kind of crap.

14 Likes

@GutHend

(I hadn’t heard you were having health issues – hope all is well and you’re back to your feisty self.) :wink:

It’s true Air doesn’t require everyone’s identities but as soon as I have a booking with a guest, I get their direct email from them and then send my standard questions “so I can complete my info slip” on their reservation. One of the questions I ask is the name of each occupant (my max is only two…so it’s really just of the other person); thus, I always have that information. The guest also usually volunteers their relationship.

Believe it or not, my little info slips have all sorts of random bits of info scribbled on them about the guests who have stayed in my unit…from the sq. footage of their current abode to when and how much they paid for it, to previous spouses sometimes, all kinds of stuff.

One thing I no longer ask is their home address. I used to send handmade thank you cards but stopped about a year ago after about 5 yrs. of making 100’s of cards.
(Sorry to the OP for going off-topic. It’s late.)i

1 Like

Still trying to figure out what your problem was. You have the code for the door on your listing. I don’t know what “buried” means. If it is there, then guests will assume they can use it, especially if they got no response from you. As for interrogating them about their ages and the genders of the party, frankly that is ridiculous. I rarely if ever, suggest refunding guests, but in this case I think you should have.

9 Likes

You should refund them- it sounds like a misunderstanding on your part and like the guests didn’t do anything wrong. If you provided the door code (even if it was ‘buried’ somewhere), and they said 3 guests, it isn’t their fault you made assumptions about gender. I would feel very uncomfortable as a guest if my hosts made my age or gender an issue.

8 Likes

First, Airbnb allows people 18 and older to book. Second, what difference does it make what their genders are? We’re hosts, not their parents. And third, friends are friends. Your husband’s expectations aside, friends can be of any gender.

5 Likes

I would have left, too, and your reaction to their genders seems inappropriate to me. I think Airbnb should side with the guest on this.

3 Likes

I agree the hosts overstepped here. However I sympathize because it can be hard to know how to react in the moment. I had an inquiry from a woman who, I could tell from the writing style and questions, was very young. She wanted to book for her and her boyfriend who she explained was in the military. So I’m thinking a 17 year old high school student sleeping with a 23 year old Marine – that’s statutory rape in my state. I asked if they were BOTH at least 18 which she confirmed so whew! I hasten to add I would have been equally concerned about a young man. I felt kinda bad because I thought that I really should have only asked if the person booking was old enough to enter into a contract, not the ages of both, and I was being intrusive. But I’m a Mom and that protection instinct kicked in. I understand that hubby’s concern might be that the young lady was not being exploited in any way. And maybe he had a flashback as a teacher to chaperoning kids on trips! Lesson learned for next time – host is not in loco parentis!!

4 Likes

I’m sorry, but I disagree. I think that if the host’s “gut reaction” is to question their relationship and ages he needs to stop heeding his gut reactions.

Imagine any other customer service situation where the provider of the service’s “protection instinct” kicked in. Would you be understanding of food servers who questioned your food choices if they were unhealthy? Would you be understanding of a clothing salesperson who told you that your clothing choices didn’t flatter you. Being a parent doesn’t entitle you to parent adults or children who aren’t yours.

3 Likes

That was my conclusion – that a host is NOT in loco parentis. I am actually agreeing with you.

1 Like

Well, I know I’ll get beat up for saying it, but I do understand how the situation went awry from both directions. If I had guests that seemed underage I, too, would have headlines going off in my head “Host clearly saw that the additional guests were underage and did nothing to assist the poor booking guest and the HOSTS are VERY BAD PEOPLE who deserve to lose their property in the suit against them.” One always worries about liability in this business - at least, I do.

Yes, the host could have done things differently, but don’t we all have moments we regret and just learn from?

3 Likes