Hello, we are relatively new hosts and had our first brush with a disgruntled guest last night. Our home is a shared space over all, with a courtyard in the center that we use often for socialization (BBQ, campfire, etc). This is a huge draw for most guests! The ground floor guest rooms all overlook the courtyard. Last night, while enjoying a fire with guest 1, guest 2 came out and asked my husband and I to be quiet: “Can you be quiet now? We’re going to sleep.” It was 10:30pm on Saturday. Honestly, I don’t want to be told what to do in my own home, however we abliged and moved into the livingroom to continue entertaining guest 1. Am I wrong to be annoyed? How can I better communicate that we’re social people and individual guests can’t dictate the overall experience. Help!
Maybe you should be more forgiving and understand that your guests might have woken up very early and want to go to sleep early (even on a Saturday night), they may have different routine times than you, come from a different time zone or after a long trip. I suppose that if asked nicely, it wouldn’t be hard to abide.
I understand your point “this is my house, I don’t want to be told what I can or cannot do”, but think also from their point of view - they are PAYING to stay in a place, so they must have a right to rest there.
They are your clients and they just asked you to be quiet.
Generally once I notice my guests are sleeping I try to minimise the noise I make as if you’re trying to sleep noise can be irritating.
Perhaps invest in some earplugs for your guests.
You’re right it’s your home however they have paid for the right to be able to sleep in peace .
What are your quiet times? Ours start at 10 pm (until 8 am) so if I was making a noise at 10.30 pm I would be in violation of my own rules.
I assume that you’d invited guest 2 to join you? If they had declined the invitation then this could have been an indication that they were either tired after travelling or intended to get up early. Hosts should make allowances for guests and their sleeping habits. Our current guests (a two week stay) get up at 6.30 every morning and sit outside watching the sun rise. We are also early risers, even when we’re away from home.
Some guests don’t emerge until lunchtime and as they are the customers, they are entitled to do so if they wish.
Why is it relevant that is was a Saturday?
Oh I certainly understanf the request, and moved inside to accommodate the guest. I would mention that guest 1 booked with the understanding that entertainment (in the form of the campfire) was a benefit of his nightly rate. Where guest 1 expected quiet, guest 2 anticipated socialization. Does guest 1 not have a say…?
Earplugs will certainly be added to my guest room amenities!
Thanks for the feedback. We do not have quiet hours, as I fear (as you mentioned) we would be the first to break such rules. I mention it being a Saturday because the weekend is when we, as the homeowners, utilize the house ourselves to unwind.
Playing devil’s advocate here, but doesn’t a guest have just as much right to be jovial in an advertised shared space as another guest has for silence?
In my opinion, this is one of the problems with hosting multiple guests in the same home. When there is more than one group, it begins to feel like a hotel, and at a hotel, yes, you could ask fellow guests to be quiet. The need for quiet at 10PM is greater than the need for joviality, as you call it.
Perhaps you could change your listing narrative to state that the courtyard might be noisy on a weekend to filter out those that need and/or want quiet, but I really don’t know how you would put this in a way that didn’t turn off quite a few guests.
Then this needs to be clear in your listing if it’s a weekly thing. No place is ideal for every guest and if yours is a noisy, lively house then it should be mentioned. That way, you shouldn’t have the problem again.
Yes, I believe you are wrong @ourcontenthome. Unless you are in Spain, 10:30 at night any night of the week should certainly be “quiet time”. Even in Spain where 10pm is the start of dinner time, a good host would bow to a guest’s desire for quiet when they are trying to sleep.
It’s not a matter of “being told what to do in your own home”. When you are hosting, it is NOT just your home; you have a responsibility (and you are being paid) to make your guests comfortable and happy, which includes abating your personal noise when asked, and being respectful of their wishes.
Even if it is Saturday night, 10:30 is very normal hour for people to go to sleep in the U.S.
If you can spare the funds, I would invest in white noise machines. I rent out a separate home and sometimes the frogs are so incredibly loud outside. So I purchased a white noise machine for each bedroom. It’s also great for people who want to take a nap in the middle of the day while the rest of the family is up making noise.
They were $49 a piece off of Amazon. I love them. It makes a steady fan noise and you just plug it into the wall and click the button to turn it on.
Not sure what is going on with the recent reviews of being sent a knock off from China. But they do sell this same brand on other sites too.
I have to agree with everyone that the guest was not out of line. I board dogs here and have had as many as a dozen dogs while I have airbnb guests. Yes, I make that clear. But I also honor a quiet time of 10 pm to 6 am. I also work hard to keep it quiet all other times as I live in a residential neighborhood. You should try to adjust the wording in your listing to discourage light or early sleepers from booking your place. But in the end, quiet trumps joviality.
Content… I can see both sides, but find myself agreeing with you more. I guess it all depends on they way they asked. Were they demanding? I would not like a guest telling me what to do either. If it were me I would never do this to a host. How loud were you? If it was just normal conversation it’s out of line for a guest to be bossing you. If it was wild partying perhaps they’d have a leg to stand on.
But I’m with you, I would not like that and it would make me feel off about that guest for the rest of their stay.
I disagree with the idea expressed above that they are your client and paying customer so they should be allowed to do what they want. I don’t think so.
Not so much that they can do what they want - just that it’s a normal time to sleep. Had the OP told the host to be quiet at 8.30 it would be a totally different story.
I love the sound machine idea. Certainly going to look into that further, thank you!
The guest was curt in his address to us and I imagine cranky 
We were not partying (no music); just the crackling fire and our conversation. We quickly moved to accommodate his request, without question!
Though, as you mentioned, “off about the guest” I was hospitable and friendly, chatted with the guest this morning; and the guest said he was very happy (impressed with the amenities etc), so overall, I am confident they will leave a satisfactory review (stand by).
However, my husband and I did not begin hosting to change our life style, though we have changed a lot of our habits to accommodate guests, as I’m sure every host must. We began hosting to recreate the wonderful friendships and people we have been fortunate to meet through travel.
Not every host is family friendly, so why must every host feel shamed into enforcing “quiet time”. I think I just need to be more specific about that from the start, even if that deters certain guests.
Ah, yes deter “light or early sleepers”. That may be the wording I’m looking for. Thank you!
We don’t. It is in the regulations of our complex and applies to owners, tenants, any visitors and short term guests. And it seems like a pretty sensible one to me. Before it was instituted several years ago we had problems with long-term tenants who made a lot of noise in the early hours. This is a quiet and tranquil place and we advertise it as such. That way, guests know that they too are expected to be respectful of everyone else here.
How interesting to look upon it as being “shamed” about enforcing quiet time.
I think it is being “considerate” of your guests to take such late hour socializing indoors where they wouldn’t be disturbed.
I do see your point Ken, and certainly respect your opinion and my guest’s wishes, as I had not set or communicated the proper expectations. However, I think its ok that there are differences in accommodations and hosting styles. Isn’t that what the ABNB community is all about?
I would never “bow” to any guest, and I do not think that makes me a “bad” host, as your post implies my decision to not enforce quiet hours in not “good” hosting.
I will change my listing description so guests are fully aware of our style of hosting, which will be satisfactory for one guest and perhaps not for another, and I think that’s the kind of diversity that makes ABNB great!