I think the majority of your message is fine. You aren’t asking for a five star review - just to be reviewed.
The only thing I have an issue is, is when hosts ask for concerns to be raised in private.
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@Helsi I don’t disagree with you. If they told me something during their stay and I didn’t address it, yes leave it in the public review. People are going to say what they want, when & where they want. I’m just hoping they willl be reasonable in what they consider negative.